


Don't Tempt Me

by behindblueyes72



Series: Nothing Is Real Until It's Gone [2]
Category: General Hospital
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 18:35:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19409017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/behindblueyes72/pseuds/behindblueyes72
Summary: Part Two of "Nothing Is Real Until It's Gone" Series





	Don't Tempt Me

**Don’t Tempt Me**

Jason laid in bed wide awake watching Sam lying next to him. The moonlight washed over her naked body, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Jason ran his hand down her back, barely even touching her skin. He stopped at the dip in her lower back lightly tracing it’s contour.

A shiver ran down Sam’s body, her skin still felt warm and tingly where his hand had touched. She was pretending to be asleep, afraid of what the silence between them might bring. She didn’t want to talk. There were things they had said and done to each other that she didn’t want to think about, let alone talk about right now. She just wanted to pretend, pretend that none of the ugliness had happened. Pretend that they were still in love with each other. Pretend that…no she wasn’t even going to think of her name, not now.

Sam knew she had always loved Jason, those feelings had never went away. She had just buried them deep inside and locked them away along with her heart. She knew Jason didn’t feel the same way as she did, but for tonight, she could just pretend.

“Sam?” Jason waited, he knew she was awake. “Sam??” He whispered again, still nothing. “Sam, we both know you are awake.”

“What makes you think I’m awake?” Sam squeezed her pillow a little tighter.

Jason laughed lightly before continuing to trace circles on her back, “Well for starters the fact that you just answered me sort of implies you’re awake, but also if you were asleep, you would have already curled up to my side like you always did before.”

“No don’t say before....we we’re pretending!!” Sam thought to herself in a panic. Suddenly she felt a tightness in her chest and a little nauseous. Tears began to fill her eyes as the painful memories began creeping back in. They were like a black cloud covering every happy memory she had ever had with him. The most vivid one was of watching Jason standing in her hospital room handing his…his child to her.

Sam clutched her chest, the memories just hurt way too much. And just like that, it was over. She couldn’t pretend anymore. He had lied to her countless times, he had pushed her away with total disregard, he had given up on them. It was like the wound to her heart was fresh all over again, the stitches she had managed to bind it back together with were ripped open causing her heart to ache once more.

What was worse was it hurt so much more this time around. With her walls down and the anger not in place she had admitted she still loved him. Something she had told herself wasn’t true. She couldn’t do this all over again, it had almost completely destroyed her before. This time there would be nothing left.

“Sam what’s wrong?” Jason asked when Sam curled her body up and began lightly shaking from the sobs. “Please tell me.” When he touched her arm she pulled away, his touch felt so good. She couldn’t stand it. Between sobs Sam replied, “Reality just sat in.”

She pulled the sheet that was laying across the lower part of her body up and wrapped it around herself. Pulling away from his outstretched hand, she ran towards the bathroom. Jason sat up in confusion, “Sam why are you always running away from me?”

She stopped dead in her tracks as the anger began to creep back in and turned to look at him. “Running away from you? I didn’t run away Jason, I was pushed. I think time has made you a little foggy on the details.”

And just like that Jason could see that her walls had gone back up. He didn’t know what had triggered them but the angry, pained look in her eyes was back.

Jason stood up and walked around the end of the bed to stand in front of Sam. “What happened, did I do something? What did I do wrong?” He asked confused.

“For starters you came to my house tonight, uninvited I might add. But the list of shit you’ve done wrong stretches back way before tonight.”

“Sam stop it, this is stupid. I thought…”

“You thought what?? That a good fuck would make everything okay. That I’d just forgive and forget it all, every last shitty thing you’ve done to me.” Sam spat angrily at Jason. Tears began to form in her eyes and it made her even angrier to think of the hold he still had on her. Without thinking Sam raised her hand to slap him but his reflexes were faster, he caught her by the arm just before it made contact.

“What? Now you want to hit me?” He screamed, “Fine…hit me, punch me, if it helps.”

Sam stood face to face with Jason, she could feel his warm breath wash over her. “Don’t tempt me.” She grounded out.

Jason could see it was no use, he had hurt her so badly. Worse than he had ever realized. He let go of her arm and took a step back. As a tear slowly ran down her cheek she turned into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

Jason sat down on the end of the bed defeated, he’d just lost the love of his life…again.

Sam stood in the middle of her cold bathroom still clutching the sheet around her chest, a steady stream of tears now running down her cheeks. She backed against the door and slowly slid to the floor pulling her knees into her chest. “What did I just do? I’ve lost him all over again.” She said aloud to herself.

xxxx

Jason had left a few minutes later, he couldn’t stand to just sit there listening to her cry. It hurt too much. He opened the door to his penthouse with a heavy breath and stepped inside. It was dark and quiet, and it suddenly felt very empty.

Images of Sam lying on the couch asleep waiting for him to come home from work ran through his mind. He was such an idiot for ever letting her go without a fight. What had happened to him, when did he lose himself. The real Jason would have never given up. And sadly he thought, he knew where it all went wrong. It all went wrong when he started listening to her. He didn’t even want to think of her name, it made him sick to his stomach. Jason wiped a tear from his face and started up the stairs to his room.

xxxx

The tears had finally started to subside, her thoughts became clearer. Sam thought about the way Jason had held her, had touched her, had said her name. The first time they were together tonight was more out of need and want but the next time was different. The love that was in his eyes. He was gentle, the way he always was when they made love. Then she remembered him saying over and over again as their bodies moved as one, “I love you Sam. I love you so much, I always have.”

“Oh my god, you…you still love me.” She said aloud to herself as the realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

Sam stood in front of the door for what seemed like an eternity, not sure of what to say when she opened it. Finally she turned the knob and stepped back into her bedroom.

“Jason??? Jason, I’m sorry. I…” She trailed off when she looked around and realized he had left. She wanted to run back into the bathroom, lock the door, and cry the rest of the night. She went to her dresser and pulled out one of Jason’s shirts she had stolen when she packed her things and moved out. She let the sheet hit the floor and pulled it over her head. As she sat on the bed and pulled the covers up around her she noticed the folded white sheet of paper on the pillow next to her, her name was written on the outside.

She took a deep breath, preparing herself for what she was sure was going to be a painful goodbye. How could he possibly still want her after the way she had just treated him. Opening the letter she began to read.

“Sam, I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make this okay. But I do know one thing, I have hurt you more deeply than I had ever imagined possible. I hate myself for it. If I could take all the pain I’ve caused you and rest it solely on my shoulders I would in a heartbeat.

I love you, I always have…always will. I want you in my life but I’m not going to force you into something that you don’t want. But just know that my heart will always belong to you.

With all my love,  
Jason”

Tears filled her eyes as she read the letter over and over again. Sam ran to the dresser, grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on. She looked at the letter once more before shoving it into her back pocket. She wasn’t giving up, she wouldn’t lose him again. Not without a fight.

xxxx

Jason shrugged off his jacket and threw it on the foot of his bed before opening his closet door. He reached up to the top shelf and moved a blanket to pull down the wooden box behind it. Turning on the bedside lamp, he sat down and opened the lid to look at its contents.

There were photos of him and Sam and photos of just Sam. He stopped to trace his finger over her face in one that he head taken of her asleep on the couch. She had never known about it.

Laying them aside he pulled out their marriage license, they didn’t make it through the ceremony but he had kept it anyway. He didn’t know why he had kept it all those years ago, they weren’t even a real couple yet, but now he was glad he did. He placed it on top of the photos and reached into the box to pull out the last item. It was a small wooden jewelry box with the name ‘Samantha Morgan’ carved into the lid. He had bought it for Sam as a wedding gift after they had became engaged, he never got the chance to give it to her.

Letting out a deep breath he opened the lid, inside was her star necklace, their wedding ring set, and two bracelets. He ran his fingers over the necklace and ring set before pulling out one of the bracelets. It was tiny, made for a baby. Flipping it over in his hand he saw the engraving on the top of it, two tiny pink stars and the name ‘Lila’. He had never told Sam about the bracelet, it would have hurt her too much. Laying it back inside the box Jason pulled out the second bracelet, it was just as small as Lila’s but the engraving area remained blank. It was intended for their unborn child.

Jason wiped the tears from his face and placed all the contents back in the box when he heard knocking at the door downstairs. He left the box on the bed and left his bedroom to answer it.

“Its 3:00 in the morning, what in the world is the matter with you.” Jason said a bit more angrily than had really intended as he swung the door open.

Sam was standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes still desperately knocking on the door. “Sam, what?? Are you okay?” Jason asked full of fear looking her up and down for any signs of injuries or wounds.

“Stop, just listen. This might be crazy and I might have completely lost my mind, but what the hell. I love you and I don’t want to run away anymore. It might be hard, and complicated and messy but I don’t care. I didn’t mean those things I said before…well at least not completely. I mean you have done some shitty things to me but I’ve done just as bad if not worse to you. I think the thing is we love each other so strongly and deeply that the only emotions we use on each other is the full tilt, head on, take no prisoners kind. The only way to push that kind of love away is with just as strong opposing emotions. If I can’t love you then I have to hate you kind of thing. Because if I can’t have you I have to hurt you and maybe that’s messed up and twisted but it’s just us, and I’m okay….no I’m good….no I’m great with that. I love you so much and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”

Sam stood in the doorway waiting for Jason to say something, anything. He just looked at her not making a sound. “Damnit Jason say something!” She yelled hitting him in the chest.

“I was waiting to make sure you were done and why do you always have to hit me?” He added with a laugh. Before she could reply Jason lifted Sam off the ground into a crushing kiss.


End file.
